The Midterm Spoon

The legend of the River Oaks Midterm Spoon dates all the way back to 8:15 this morning. It is rumored the original owner of the spoon just found it, lying on a table in the middle of the library. This young woman was a beautiful sophomore with a niche for deceit. So when questioned about said spoon, she immediately conjured up a story about how she carried the nasty wooden utensil around all during midterm season for good fortune. Her equally cunning friends played along with this tale up until she requested someone kiss it for good luck, but stopped them because she hadnt the slightest idea where the spoon had been. (you're welcome).
    So obviously some of this stories elements are fabricated. for example. The table we  the young woman found it on was more towards the front of the library and she knew the spoon was from the teachers lounge, but it still looked nasty. confession: I am the beautiful sophomore. PLOT TWIST. I know I know. You wouldnt have guessed that in a million years. But now the midterm spoon is a real thing, because my dear friend Sweet Caroline tattooed "MIDTERM SPOON" on it, and I don't think the teachers would want it back in that condition. From now on, it will be passed on, Caroline to me, me to Claire, Claire to unknown person and on and on. It will survive everything to bring us hope and luck during the most dreaded week of the year. "Haley! Don't you have a chemistry exam tomorrow? Your most dreaded class? What are you doing on your blog stupid?" Well I have an answer for you! I have given up hope in that class for 2012. I got a 92 in that class for the 9 weeks. A 92. That is a B. I might as well just fail it because that is the most disappointing grade I've ever received. I wonder if even Burger King would give me a job with that disappointment. doubt it. I'm going to drop out and become a vagrant. Okay rant over. I just wanted to be my dramatic self. I'm going to crush this exam that Feldie warned we'd all fail except 1 genius student. I'll be the unseen variable, the curveball if you will. I just wanted to relay the tale of the spoon when I thought it was still funny. Off to the land of chemistry and spanish until the SERIES FINALE of Gossip Girl. That is my main priority of the day.
                      XOXO ladies!

word of the day: Hornswoggle

Hornswoggle. Verb: To bamboozle. two words that dont sound real. Just a little tid bit of info for ya. you're very very welcome.
     Yeah I really am dreaming of a white Christmas. It was 72 degrees yesterday. But by some miracle it dropped to 40 today! What I'd do for snow. And I can read your mind right now. "Why is she talking about the weather? I can read that on my phone. We deserve an explanation of her absence! I wonder if she fell into a diabetic coma during Thanksgiving or her brain melted because she watched too much Netflix. Maybe she's in jail because she became addicted to bingo..." Surprisingly none of that has kept me away from the blog. The blog itself was reason enough. See, during Thanksgiving break, we hit a rough patch. I wrote the perfect post. The recap of a week of bingoing, retirement parties, more bingo and all over cherished comedic family moments wrapped up in a blog post. Well my blogger decided it was unable to handle such amazingness, it deleted itself. It was a tragedy. Almost like a national disaster and I've spent the last few weeks picking up the wreckage. Okay that's a tad on the dramatic side. Me and the blog had a falling out, and then school showed up and was a little attention hog. It spends 7 hours with me and on most days follows me home. So I spent the day with Chemistry(who is a total life ruiner by the way. I would stay away from that one if I were you, nothing but trouble) but I set aside a little time to be with my dear blog.
         These past few weeks have been hectic, as they are every year. Teachers say, "3 weeks before midterm? pssshhhh all the time in the world." But now there is 4 full days of school left and they start freaking out. squeezing in grades, realizing spending days in class to discuss postcards isnt the best use of time.  "well we arent as far as I'd like us to be... So I guess I'll assign parts in the book to ride and thursday and that will be on the midterm as well.'' That my friends is what I like to call flawed logic. Another large contributor to my long blog hiatus is my obsession with the television series Fringe. Best show I've ever seen. Better than Greys Anatomy, Revenge, Vamp Diaries and Gossip Girl combined. that is saying something if you know me. I watched it on my kindle and I kid you not, I was at midseason 3 at the beginning of Thanksgiving Break and by that sunday I was caught up to live tv, Season 5. There are these characters called Observers that dont say anything, they just show up in random parts of episodes, staring. they always wear black suits and fedoras and our school librarian wore a suit and fedora to school one day. No lie, I just stared in shock, because I actually thought he was an observer. I really need to cut off my video streaming access before my brain turns into goo. Sorry I went off on that little tangent... I know this blog post didnt tell you about my Target goes Tory adventure, Christmas Caroling for the oldies, a cookie decorating party, going to the bingo hall with my bestie Jack and his grandma, or buying an indentured servant from the student council. I am going to have to do a throw back post one day. obviously not today. That isnt very Throwback... Ok I am going into a state of sleep delirium. Sweet dreams my darlings!

It was enchanting to meeeeeeeeet youuuuuuu

Today was a big improvement from last Tuesday. Remember that post about failing and all the depressing stuff? Well none of that now. Let's start from the morning shall we? I get to seminary, give a heartwarming devotional. Ok so not really I just read straight out of the EFY handbook. Thank the Lord for that thing. So in the middle of seminary, somehow in the middle of my intense focus on the lesson, my phone magically opens to twitter and breaks concentration. And there I see a trending topic about ACT scores. Y'all who havent seen me lately do not understand the apprehension I have felt the past 2 weeks on what my scores were. So immediately Patti, most likely curled up in bed, receives a text from a daughter in a silent panic saying " ACT RESULTS ARE IN. Please have them ready by the time I get home! OR ELSE. love ya."  that text was made up. But those words are more exciting than the one's I chose to send. I sprint to the car, heart beating, mind racing and my mother gives me the news, the information I have been craving, what has been keeping me up til the wee hours of the morning. (as I am writing this I am mentally playing a drumroll in my head). And my score was 25! I am very content with this grade and can relax, at least til I take it in the spring. I come to school with an extra spring in my step, actually smiling at Dr. Feldhaus because I understood the lesson. After school(no cheer!) my besties Caroline (aka Sweet Caroline at thetannehilltales.blogspot.com ), her younger sister Claire and I go shopping for the perfect LSU Game outfit. Their family is so nice and invited me to go with them. Caroline though, she's supporting the rebels, and I dont want to sit too close to her, as I dont want to be ostracized by family members or ridiculed by strangers. After mama carol the magical cute clothes finder picks out 16 different tops for me, I enter the dressing room, almost drowning in a sea of purple and gold. I model each one, and have a tough time picking the best, as I look good in all of them, thanks to her flawless taste. I pick a cute purple top and next thing I know, we're jamming out to t-swift (hence the name of the post, my favorite song) and then go to Orange leaf. So apparently something you're not supposed to do when getting frozen yogurt is to mix mint chocolate, cheesecake, Redvelvet, eggnog and mango into one. But I thought it was delicious. I guess I am just a visionary. And that concludes the exciting adventure I had unless chemistry and spanish notes excite you. NO? its ok! y'all will get plenty of updates on the LSU game and the Twilight premiere only being 2 days away. Time for Covert Affairs! mwah!

What if the Pizza man is an undercover cop?

This weekend was quite an interesting one. I did a few service projects, helped the needy, separated Sweet Potatoes, SKYFALL(More on that later) and watched some Gilmore Girls. But this post is all about The CUTEST little boys in the world that I have the privilege to Babysit. Dixon, Cutler and Cyrus. I know I know I have mentioned them before, but I didn't tell you some hilarious stories about them. I'll start with Cyrus. Hopefully you'll find these stories as humorous as I do, but I probably won't do them any justice.

1. This past week I babysat all three boys and had to give them baths. As I was giving the other boys baths Cyrus was just roaming around the bathroom, in and out leaving a path of destruction, as usual. I was just trying to shampoo Cutler's hair and watch Dixon, cause he kept pretending to drown, which he just found hilarious. and I did not. Right as I lifted Dixons head up from the water making sure his lungs didnt fill up with water, I realize Cyrus has been rather quiet since he started rummaging around in the sink cabinet. I turn around to find him perfectly fine, just aimlessly walking. EXCEPT for a little something he had in in his mouth. With closer examination, I realize with horror what it was. A tampon. He found it under the sink and thought it a good chew toy. And the little rascal would not give the darn thing up. I eventually wrestled it out of his hands and promptly threw it away. Thinking back on it, that is hilarious. But when it happened, I was mortified and prayed his brothers didn't start asking to play with one.

2. The Tuft's grandparents own a gorgeous house on the Ouchita River, and every spring it floods up their back yard. The little boys just love making up stories about it. If I do recall correctly, Dixon wrestled an alligator to submission in there. Anyhoo, their mother gave them permission to play near the river as long as Averi or I supervised. So there are the munchkins, acting allllll innocent as if they didnt mean for that giant mud ball to land on my shirt. Cutler was just goofing around in the water, in just a pull up. Well he sits right down in the mud and digs hit bootie in the squishy earth real good. Pretty soon, after wading in the water, his pull up starts sagging more and more. Next thing I know, the thing is down around his ankles and he is trying to keep it up with all his might. But then, 'POP!' the expanded huggie pops open. Let me tell you. The one thing I hope you do not see in your life is an exploded pull up full of muddy river water. I quickly deposit it in the trash, before he gets the genius idea of tasting the little beady majigs inside. So with that problem resolved, he goes right back swimming all John Quincy Adams. Which is to say buck naked.

3. Lastly, as a fun night with the girls, the Tuft's left Averi and I money to order a pizza for the boys. They of course start freaking out and decide to take a bath in Mamice's(grandma's) jet bathtub. Well after a 45 minute dip that included a bubble santa beard and a lot of splashing like a whale, they get out. But there is one little setback. They refuse to put on Pajamas. They just started lounging around the house in a towel. We try to reason with them. "Y'all dont want to be naked when the pizza man comes, right?"
WRONG. Right then they hatch an evil scheme. "Let's answer the door completely naked when the pizza man comes!!!!" We really should have seen that one coming. They come up with different scenarios of his reaction, having fun, until they dream up this one. What if the pizzaman was a cop? What if the sole purpose of his job was to deliver pizza's and arrest little boys that come to the door naked and send them to jail? Then they start their freak out. What if he sends them to a dungeon? We promise he won't arrest them, but for some reason the idea of jail still doesnt give them incentive to put on clothes. DING DONG. "Oh my goodness the pizza man is here!! What do we do??" Poor Dixon was on the verge of tears. Averi calmly explains she'll answer the door fully clothed and they don't have to come out. Well Cutler decides to wrap a towel (partially) around himself and answer the door with us. The pizza man was very kind and did not arrest them. He even denied being a cop when Dixon yelled it from the other room. Let's just say he got a pretty decent tip for being so chill about the glimpses of little boy butt around the house.

I FIGURED IT OUT.

I now am the proud owner of the Blogger iPhone App which means I am capable of blogging. From my phone. Y'all. I just lost any free time I had in Art to my blogging addiction. I shall blog more on the road, I just thought I'd let you know I'm gonna be posting A LOT more. And now I'm going to be putting pictures up regularly. Y'all enjoy!

Does anyone know how to hack an email account?

So I want to blog whilst I'm traveling to the far off land of Batesville Mississippi, but I dont know my email password and that is kind of a key thing to know when trying to log on to it. But I will find a way mark my words and I will update you on my travels. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

...And from the Candle of truth and Knowledge...

I'm back my loyal readers! all 5 of you! I knew y'all would be all concerned like, "oh my goodness she hasnt posted today. She must have gotten hit in the head again and is stuck in a coma." But worry not. I was simply studying my butt off to ace a history test and to probably b-eing an English test. But it is alllll good now. By now you're probably wondering about the odd, yet witty title of this post. I shall explain it. Today my friends, was the best day of my life. just kidding. I was just inducted into National Honor Society.( no big deal) They do this long light a candle tell what it represents blah dididi blah. Eventually my besty Libby-wibby walks up the bleachers all slow like, for the needed dramatic effect (really to not extinguish the candle she was about to give me) and handed the highly symbolic candle to me, smiling. And then by the grace of God I was able to walk down the bleachers to my seat without letting my candle's  flame from going out or not letting my lovely RO polo to go ablaze. That would be far more exciting to blog about I guess...not worth it. That was a 45 minute ceremony my loving parents patiently endured through. Then, of course, the best and only reason I get into National Honor Society, is a feast fit for the gods of olympus in our tiny Library. I had cookies, fudge, a subway sandwich, a doughnut, a delicious little bite of cake and basically every unhealthy thing you could think of. It was delightful. I get home from cheer thinking I can relax, blog, watch some Fringe and maybe just maybe take a nap. LOL. NO. I get into my room and it looks like Hurricane Sandy took a tour of my room. I spend an hour and a half cleaning and fretting about a stupid tshirt for the peprally until I realize it is in the Locker room. Sometimes I surprise even myself. My dreams of a relaxing thursday go poof before my eyes. And then 6:30 rolls around and I go babysitting for the Tufts. The most adorable family I've ever had the pleasure of babysitting for in case you read this Helen. Dixon, Cutler and Cyrus. all under 6, all adorable. Cyrus, the youngest, justa little tyke, is as destructive as a pitbull with red bull(quote given by my pal Lib-dawg). He destroyed his mother's hairdryer by ripping the wires to give you an example of his havoc he wreaks daily. He has the strength of an oxen, no joke. I turn around to put away the shampoo he was trying to consume and then BAM! crack-smash-scream, I turn around and he just broke a giant glass cup. Then his older brother Cutler starts to sing me a song on how he prefers to sleep in the nude. "I like to sleep naked oh oh oh. I like to sleep naked oh oh." I eventually persuade him to the belief pajamas are a better idea. thank goodness. Or else his mom would have never hired me again. Now Libby is at me casa, getting a beauty sleep for the peprally tomorrow watching Friends and Ellen, our usual bonding activities. I apologize for the long post, it's just I had SUCH an interesting day. mwah. night.

my goodnight and goodbye to my dreams of a Mormon president.

We need a celebrity, Like on a Taylor Swift sized scale. This celebrity would be used for the sole purpose of showing conservatism(i guess that's a word?) in an extremely liberal setting. That's my opinion anyway. My dreams of having a mormon president have been crushed due to this awful thing that has come to my knowledge. Obama. Has. Won. The thoughts running through Romney's head right now are probably along these lines, "WHY WHY WHY?!?! I SPEND A CHUNK OF MY LIFE AND A SMALL FORTUNE ON THIS, AND THIS HAPPENS? NO." I'd be thinking that if I were him. My twitter timeline blew up tonight let me tell you. Every second it updated, a new person's rant with a new quip about Obama. At least at the next election I'll be able to vote... my opinion means nothing in the present. But thanks for reading it anyways!!!! Buenos Noches.

My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Remember in my last post how I said Chemistry is the death of me? Well the rant for that begins 3,2,1...

Ok so my Chemistry teacher is this squishy, greyed, cat sweater wearing old lady named Doctor Feldhaus... A name like that is meant to give you shivers. The woman is senile I swear. "Oh did I give you that worksheet? my bad, I meant to give that to the Chemistry II class." She does this almost weekly. She believes everyone is a chemistry prodigy, just picking up on chemistry as if we were born with the knowledge to find an empirical formula with no explanation. She gave us this test on friday that everyone bombed. (that is of course excluding the few geniuses in the class). I FAILED IT. Now if you know me, you know Haley just does NOT fail things. But I got my paper in disbelief, staring blankly at the grade not comprehending the situation. My brain tried to reject the obviously impossible thing that was happening. My first grade for the 9 weeks in that class. An F. That combined with my not so hot grade I feel I got on my Spanish quiz sent me on a downward spiral. I was in a daze until the bell rang for lunch. Then to make my day even better, Coach Hannah insisted I was not signed up for lunch, which was a lie, cause I never skip Fried Chicken Day. Ever. So I walk into my Mom's classroom and just start unloading my grief on her. I didn't even care there were a couple of her students in the room when I had this mini-meltdown. She then proceeded to give me a comforting hug, get my lunch and deliver it to me. I ate everything on my plate. Even the stuff I didn't like. It was an "eat your feelings" kind of lunch. After 6th hour I went to cheer, got kicked in the head a few times, got a cut from a fingernail on my face and then went home to vent about my day. Thank goodness for this blog. I also would like to apologize for my long depressing rant... But my day wasn't completely grey. My friend gave me a Delta Sky magazine with Taylor Swift on it, I turned in my HOBY essay(one of the finest works I've ever done might I add) and tonight we celebrate Jim's 53 birthday at Popeyes! I also applaud any of my readers that went and voted for Romney. I would have if it were legal for me to. And lastly the best part of my day was that all my friends gave me a nice big hug to cheer me up because they knew I was sad. That is possibly the best thing they could have done for me besides make me a chocolate pie.

my life in a nutshell

Well since you and I are going to become besties through this blog, it's best if I tell you a little sumtin' sumtin' about myself. I know I gave you the basics in my first post, but that is not even scratching the surface on my interesting-ness. The first things are basically known facts. Haley Anna Morris. Blue eyed blond-ish haired beauty. Lives in Monroe Louisiana. Little sister to 2 brothers and a sister.(shout out to Christopher, William, their adorable spouses and Averi) Cheerleader and a proud honor student, well at least for now. Chemistry will be the death of me. But don't worry, I'll have a post all about the worst 51 minutes of my day sometime soon. Daughter to the lovely Jim and Patti Morris. One thing you will learn about me very very very quickly is I watch a lot of TV. Like a lot a lot. Netflix, Hulu plus, Amazon prime you name it, I have an account. And I will have a plethora of posts about my faves in the future. Not going to lie, I could write all these posts tonight, but then I'd have exhausted all my fallback material for when nothing interesting happens to me. Hmmmmm... I like cats and I beg my parents for a puppy everyday to no avail. I am unorganized 97% of the time, and the other 3% is only cause the maid cleaned my room that day. Oh I have a good fact. I'm a mormon! but everyone reading this knew this all ready. Oh well. Romney Ryan 2012 whoop whoop! And lastly besties with Sweet Caroline at tannehilltales.blogspot.com check her out. cutest name ever, cause I came up with it.

well Hello there!!

Welcome to the Morris Memories( or memos, I am still undecided...)!! My name is Haley Morris, I am 15, live in Louisiana, youngest and prettiest of four, and I am sure if you are reading this it means you know me so I wont go into too many details of my life, as you all ready know them. This blog will highlight the hilarity in my otherwise mundane life. I hope you enjoy my posts and I apologize in advance because I can see many many many posts being about my taylor swift obsession or my Netflix addiction. Thanks for reading!! MWAH.(thats a kiss noise in case you were a little confused) also, do NOT feel the need to click the About Me button, as I had no clue what to do when I made it and the pictures are quite atrocious. thanks!